I have had a lot of sex that wasn't about relationships but the only time I ever felt like I "used" a guy it was for comfort and cuddles when I was feeling down and didn't want to be alone.
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Be direct, ask the girl out but not on a date - just an opportunity to talk some more and get to know each other better. When she replies with interest, then you can arrange the day and location.
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I was married for 25 years. But would check out other women and fantasize about other women and have "impure thoughts" about other women. I always figured this was what EVERY man did and, talking with friends, it is.
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When I was with my ex-wife, I rarely thought of other women, if at all. My ex was/is HOT! She also told me that she only thought of me, so, sure, when you're in love or whatever, it is not 'weird' at all.
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